100 Ways to Piss Off Transformers
by GojiPrime117
Summary: Discontinued, because I really don't care anymore. Wow, this is ironic.
1. 100 ways to piss off Megatron

1

GojiPrime: Yo! What you're about to read is a really pointless thing that millions of other people have probably done already. I don't know much about Transformers, just bits and pieces from each series. This will be a one shot, unless I get good reviews. If I do, then I'll make a list for the other characters (So please R&R).

Anywho, if you ever join the Decepticons, then remember to do half of these. They will all work, I've tried them. Seriously, I've known Megatron for a few years, and after me, he doesn't want anymore humans joining. I still have yet to ask him why he has a human on his team, but, whatever…

So anyway, let's do this bitch…

Ask him about his cube/little boy fetishes

Ask him what he'll do once nothing but Autobots are left in the world

Ask him how he went from a bucket head to a pointy-headed freak

Tell him to try picking up the All-Spark

In addition to 4, laugh as he can't pick it up cuz he only has 3 finger-claw things

Ask about his relationship with Lugnutz

Tell him that Lugnutz loves him

Show him the fan art with him and Lugnutz

Show him the fan art with him and Prime

Ask why he used to transform into a gun that he let Starscream use

Ask why he let Starscream, the traitor, use him

Tell him you want to see how Starscream cocks, shoots, and reloads Megatron

Remind him about the little girl he fell in love with in "Kiss-players"

Ask if a fishing-pole will shoot out if you kiss him

Tell him you have the All-Spark

Paint an Autobot symbol on his chest-plate

Constantly yell "Hooblah, booooooy! The cube, booooooy! I smell you, booooooy!" when he walks by

Tell Soundwave to act as Megatron's alarm, and play "I'm a Barbie Girl" when he wakes up

Tell Lugnutz that his favorite song is "I'm a Barbie Girl"

Hold a Birthday party and give him an Optimus Prime cake

Proceed to give him an Optimus Prime Masterpiece toy

Laugh at him as he cries because he didn't get the Megatron Masterpiece toy

Tell him it was Lugnutz's idea, as Lugnutz gives him the CD with "I'm a Barbie Girl" on it

Call him an old Duffer cuz of his age

When he complains that he's not _that_ old, tell him that you're only sixteen years old

Remind him that you made him cry a few minutes ago

Tell him that you're dating the girl that he fell in love with in "Kiss-Players"

If he doesn't believe you, just laugh and walk away

Later that day, tell him that you were just with that girl again, and she told you that she thinks your "fishing pole" is bigger than his

And that's if you fold it in half

Exactly one week later, hold another birthday party for him

When he comes to ask you why you held another party, be making out with the girl he fell in love with

As he sits in disappointment and embarrassment, make sure he's watching as you grope her (Just to let you know, I have no idea how this girl looks, so if she's ugly as hell, just pretend that she's one of those girls that's so hot, it makes you angry)

After Megatron cries himself to sleep, put a bucket over his head

As he wakes up to "I'm a Barbie Girl" again, laugh as he runs around the room, thinking he's blind

When he throws it off, scream like hell and say that he ripped off his own head

If he believes you, tell him not to worry, cuz you'll fix it

Grab a bunch of tools and blindfold him, use this as an advantage to smack him with a hammer, but pretend you're reapplying his head

If he asks why he's blindfolded, don't answer

The whole time he thinks you're helping him, _really _just duck-tape the bucket on his face

When he asks why he still can't see, tell him the surgery left him blind

Ask him why there are no females on the Decepticon side

That night, spray paint the words "I'm a _Packers _fan" on his back (Emphases on "Packer")

Ask why, in the new movie, his fight with Prime consists of them rolling around on the ground

Ask why, instead of one Jazz, he _wanted_ two

If he tells you to stop accusing him of being gay, cuz he's not, raise your fist in the air and scream "Take that, Yaoi fan girls!" (I know, I stole that from the guy who did Master Chief's piss-off list, but Yaoi fan girls should know that their opinions are WRONG!!)

A few weeks later, laugh as he realizes that a bucket was duck-taped to his head this whole time, and he isn't blind

Ask about how he masturbates with three claws for fingers

Ask about how he masturbated when he had a T-rex head for a hand in "Beast Wars" (Or whenever the hell he had it)

Tell him that you've officially pissed him of 50 times

Ask if you can ride his jet (Not intended to be sexual, seriously ask to ride his jet)

As he drives, like, 3mph, pop in a CD and play "Slow Ride"

Ask what he thinks about Elita1

As he's lost in thought about the beautiful Elita1, remind him that she's an Autobot

Also ask if he likes the Elita1 from Animated

If he says yes, then say: "Eww! Bestiality!!"

Tell him that the chick you're dating (his ex-girlfriend) is pregnant with your child

Remind him about the whole "fishing pole" thing

Tell him that the legal age to have sex for humans is eighteen, and you and her are only sixteen

After eight months, leave the girl and hide until the baby is due

In one month, make a guest star appearance back at the base and hold the girl's hand as she gives birth

Make sure neither of you act like you ever left

Pretend to freak out and yell at Megatron, saying: "I'm gonna be a parent, and you're the godfather!"

After Megatron freaks out for a few minutes, shits himself, and nearly dies of a heart attack, make him worry more and ask where the doctor is

Yell at him and say he was responsible for hiring the doctor…make sure you never told him that before

Call up Ratchet

After a few minutes, and he realizes nothing happened, laugh hysterically with Ratchet and the girl

Tell him that she was never pregnant

As he tries to shoot you, tell him that he is still the godfather of your future children, and if he kills you, then he has to take care of them…all Thirty-six. (Or, just sixty-nine your girlfriend in front of him to remind him of the number you're on)

Pay Ratchet and wish him a safe trip

Before he leaves, ask if he'd like to stay for dinner

During dinner, tell Ratchet about the "fishing poles"

Start a food fight and throw a dumbbell at Megatron's face (I don't know why, I just wanted to make it stupid)

Whenever Megatron passes you, yell "Transform and roll out!!"

When he's not looking, tell the girl to kiss him

When his fishing pole comes out, laugh

Ask how he went from Megatron to Galvetron, then back to Megatron in Kiss-players

While he's watching TV, change the channel to sports and watch football

Pat him on the back and say, "Hey, how 'bout them packers?"

When he walks away, confused, wait for him to notice the Packer thing you spray painted on his back…almost a year ago

Laugh as he yells your name in a threatening way

Watch the new movie, and constantly replay the part when he's chasing Sam and crashes through the window. Laugh when he randomly yells "HOOBLAH!!" in the movie

Yell "HOOBLAH!!"

Act surprised and ask him why there aren't any Decepticon symbols on him…or in the movie in general. And where the hell is Soundwave? And why is Brawl named the "Devastator"? Isn't the Devastator a robot that the five Constructicons turn into? (And was that Michael Bay he just flicked? Well, congratulate him for that, cuz what the hell is wrong with that guy?)

Ask if he's ever asked the girl to Ridehisfiddlestick

Run away after saying that

Tell Soundwave to turn into a tape recorder and record Megatron when he's sleeping

When Soundwave gives you the tape, he will tell you that Megatron spoke in his sleep, and apparently had a wet dream about your girlfriend

Ask if oil came out

Pretend to get very sick, and tell Megatron you are about to die

As he whimpers like a baby and tells you what a great friend you've always been, replay the tape of his fantasies with your girlfriend

Die of a heart attack (Well, just pretend. Megatron doesn't have a heart, so he wouldn't know the difference of living or dead) (Invite Optimus Prime to the funeral)

At your funeral, jump out of your coffin and scare the shit out of him

laugh as he shits a brick

If he asks how you came back to life, tell him it was the power of the All-Spark

Also tell him that, when you told him you had the All-Spark, you weren't lying

Later that day, when he holds a "Welcome back to life party", finger your girlfriend in front of him

Ask him why, in the movie, he wanted to destroy Earth, but he didn't kill a single human

Tell him that Michael Bay sucks

Explain to him your theory of his goal, saying: "So, let me get this straight. You want to destroy all of the Autobots and rule over Cybertron. After that, you want to kill everything else that isn't a Decepticon and use the All-Spark to create the ultimate-evil-army. " He will nod, and this is when you tell him the problem with his plan. "After that…what happens? You've created the ultimate army, but you have nothing to fight. Sure, now you rule over everything, but nobody will fear you, because everyone is either dead, or a mindless slave. You will one day realize that life is boring, and it is pointless to keep going. Your army will always be watching over you, and you will never have the chance to kill yourself. Along the years, you also realize that there's nothing left to do…but ass-rape your all-male-army of doom and destruction. Little do you know, that "doom and destruction" is applying to your army, as millions upon millions of robots slowly decay from not only age, but also the STDs and AIDS. You are now bored, and the only thing left to do is play checkers with Starscream until one of you dies of the disease. After Starscream dies, you begin to wish it was you, because you found out that you were never infected with any STDs. Floating in space, alone, you beg for death, but you can't kill yourself because you already destroyed everything in the universe, and your arms fell of a few years ago. Suicide is impossible, and now you wait…"

**This was the day that Megatron decided to join the Autobots, and he was royally pimped out happily ever after…**

**The End…**

**?**

Was it any good? Even worth your time? I'm sorry if it was just a big waste of ten minutes, but, I spent, like, an hour, so shut up. So PLEEEEEAAAAAASE R&R. I don't care if it's a complement, an insult, or if you just wanna tell me your life story, just do it. If I get some good ones, I'll consider making fun of Optimus…or Wreck Gar…Blitzwing (Animated)…or, Grimlock! C'mon, you know you can't resist Grimlock, cuz Grimlock are an badass!


	2. 100 More ways to piss off Megatron

Chintastic!!

GojiPrime: Well, because of a recent review that said my first list was almost completely irrelevant, I have decided to make a Part 2 that will have more things actually related to Megatron's actions. I agree with whoever thought that my first list was crappy, and thank them too for telling me that it was crappy.

I just began liking Transformers, so I don't know much, but for this list, I actually watched some of the G1 cartoon and researched Megatron's failed attempts at life.

Since I watched some of the show, I personally think that HotRod was the biggest loser, next to Wheely. I will cite the series I'm referring to, to avoid confusion. An example might be #1 of my first list. It says that Megatron has a cube/little boy fetish. That's referring to the new movie because he always said "Boy" and "Cube" in his sentences.

And to people that think I have horrible grammar: you're right! I _do _have horrible grammar, but I've seen worse. There are some people on this website that write stories, and I think it's Grimlock speaking.

Either way, I'm just a beginner at this crap. I like to draw stupid things that my friends laugh at, so that's why I have such randomness in my first list.

But I'm just boring people by rambling on for six hours, let's do this thing!

Wait a minute, where the hell are the numbers?? i can't see them!! stupid website...

100 More Ways to Piss Off Megatron!!

Tell him that there's an alternate universe with him as the Autobot leader

And that Prime _still_ kicks his ass

Ask why he still couldn't win when he was remade as Galvetron, and his opponents were HotRod and Wheely (G1)

Ask why he only used his gun once in the new movie

Also tell him that he actually would have won, but a _human _defeated him (New Movie)

Ask where his huge-ass gun went after G1

Ask about his relationship with Prime. (Seriously, one series they're just enemies, and in the movie they're brothers. 0o)

Tell him to stick with one transformation (He goes from a gun in G1, to a T-rex in Beast Wars, and now he's a freakin jet??)

Also ask how his original look went from a big box with a bucket head (G1) to some pointy headed fat ass that looks like a pedophile (New movie)

Tell him that his voice sucks (Every series), and it's not very threatening

Tell him that there's a comic series where he _did_ rule the world, but there was nothing to do, and it consisted of him being bored as hell the whole time (Like I predicted in #100 of the first list)

Then tell him that nobody liked that series

Also tell him that the Transformers comic series consisted of things like GI-JOE and Spiderman kicking his ass

Ask what him and Starscream's head did when the were floating around in space and couldn't move (Animated)

Speaking of Animated, tell him that they used to play two new episodes every week, but they kicked off one of them for Yu-Gi-Oh GX

and not even new episodes of Yu-Gi-Oh GX (As if anyone ever watched that show anyway)

_Then_ tell him that Animated might be kicked off Cartoon Network soon because there's too much "violence" (Goddamn Cartoon Network homos!)

Show him the videos of G1 on YouTube that were dubbed and made Megatron/Galvetron sound/act gay

For his next birthday party, buy him the Megatron Masterpiece toy that he always wanted, but the Freakin American law says that he needs that pretty, little, orange cap on the front of his gun.

Then paint butterflies and flowers and rainbows all over his new toy

When he asks why you did that, tell him "Because of the orange cap, it has to look peaceful and pretty"

Laugh as he cries: "I don't wanna look pretty!"

Show him how to "cock, shoot, and reload his gun" (Sorry for making that sound gay, I just wanna let you know that I'm an Anti-Yaoi person though. Yaoi sucks! Hoorah for Yuri!)

Also give him a "Kiss-Players" toy (Where the girl is, like, eight inches tall, but the Transformer is only one inch…What the crap is that? I don't want a toy of a weird-ass human, I want a Transformer goddamn it!)

Show him that picture, on the internet, that shows Starscream, Lugnutz, and Blitzwing (all from Animated) standing around in some snowy place. I'm not sure if anyone will know what I'm talking about, but it has Starscream looking at Lugnutz, saying "What the fuck is his malfunction?", then you see Blitzwing saying "I dunno lol". Finally, you see Lugnutz thinking of Megatron doing the Fonz move.

Laugh as he blows up your computer

Remind him of all his failed attempts at defeating Prime in every series, then tell him he fails at life

Tell him that "Unicron is just a head floating around in space now" (G1)

Also show him the original Transformers movie, and when Megatron dies, Starscream kicks Megatron, Optimus dies, and HotRod takes the Matrix (I don't really know how that'd piss him off, but it's related to the next one)

Then, show him the episode of G1, when Prime is brought back to life, and Galvetron is shot in the face by the Matrix (or however you spell it)

After that, turn off the TV and say: "And, yet again, Megatron sucks at living"

Laugh when he threatens to shoot you

Start playing the game of the new movie

Play the last level of the Decepticons (When you're Megatron and you kill Prime), and say "Come here Prime, so I can unload on you face" while shooting at him

Then play the last level of the Autobots, and defeat Megatron with a tree

Ask how he pimped out so many _male_ Transformers- Lugnutz, Blitzwing, the Constructicons, Black Arachnea

(I'm sorry Megatron, but…) Force him to read a Fanficton story with him paired up with either Prime or his own henchmen (That was a suggestion; I swear to god I have nothing to do with it!!)

Laugh, gag, and run away when his attention is caught and he says: "I wanna know what happens next!"

If he comes out and says: "You should read that, it's not half bad", say: "No thanks, I'd rather stuff my dick in a Cheerio"

Start calling him "Megsy" (Serious question: Why the hell is that his nickname??)

Tell him that a rumor is going around about the second Transformers movie. The rumor says (And this is serious) that he will be brought back to life by the Autobots, and he will help them defeat "The Fallen"

Lie, and tell him it sounds interesting

Ask what happens when a "Mommy Transformer and a Daddy Transformer love each other" (Me and all my friends really wanna know)

Tell him that, in the new movie, his comebacks are great (said sarcastically), especially in this scene: "It's just you and me, Megatron" said Prime. "NO, it's just _me _Priiiiiiiiiime!"

Then ask why all of his words were like: "Boooooooooy, Cuuuuuuube, Priiiiiiiiiime, Starscreeeeeeeeeeeam"

And who could forget when he screams: "HOOBLAH!!"

Or even: "I SMELL YOU, BOOOOOOOOOY!"

Then remind him that he doesn't have a nose

Then tell him that he would do a great Peewee Herman impression

Tell him that he was defeated by a big flying fire truck in Cybertron

Tell him that this is the 150th time you've pissed him off

Ask what the hell he's doing on the box cover of the new movie (Seriously, WTF?)

Tell him that, in the new cartoon (Animated), he sounds/looks more terrifying than he did in the new movie

Then remind him that Animated's budget was five dollars and a coupon for tampons at Wal-Mart (Don't ask, I don't even know)

Tell him that his ass was handed to him by a gorilla (Beast Wars)

Tell him that Beast Wars and Kiss-Players were supposed to be sequels to G1

Also tell him that he might not have been in Kiss-Players (That was a mistake on my first list, I just sort of guessed, please tell me if you know if he was in KP or not, as if anyone should care)

Ask him what he thought of Wheely (G1)

When he says: "That douche-bag made G1 shoot diarrhea out of it's dick", say "I thought that Wheely was a great inspiration to children everywhere" (Lie, of coarse)

Wear an Optimus Prime voice changer

Ask why he wanted Wreck-Gar as a Decepticon (Animated)

Tell him that the only reason he's constantly put on every series of Transformers is because Hasbro needs an excuse to make more toys

Say "Nemesis Prime would totally kick Megatron's ass!"

Ask if he ever used Soundwave to listen to music

(This is irrelevant, but…) ask him: "How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris?"

Laugh when he tries to come up with an answer

Ask why, in the new movie, every Decepticon spoke Cybertronian (or whatever), but he spoke English

Ask what the hell Frenzy's deal was (New Movie)

Sixty-Nine the girl he fell in love with in Kiss-Players to remind him what number you're on

Tell him that Michael Bay thought it was realistic for a Transformer's body to melt from a _very hot bullet_, yet they survived going through Earth's atmosphere

Also tell him that Michael Bay thought Megatron was sexy

Laugh and video tape Megatron punching Michael Bay

Remind him that it took the Decepticons 5000 years to even try to find him (New Movie)

Ask why every picture of him shows him doing "Jazz hands" (New Movie)

Get permission to burn music off of Soundwave

Show him the _wonderful _Transformation of the McDonalds Animated toy

Ask where his arm and leg went when the humans dump his body in the ocean, at the end of the new movie

When he asks why you aren't making as perverted jokes this time, ask if he enjoys being called gay

When he says: "No! That's not what I meant!", just laugh and walk away

Ask what he meant when he told Sam Witwicky: "Hand over the cube, and I will make you my pet." (New Movie)

Then ask if he'd make Sam wear cat-ears, a fake tail, long black nylons and a whip

Laugh when he cries and says: "I shouldn't have mentioned the gay jokes"

When he asks you to stop calling him gay, raise your fist in the air and yell: "I win, yet again, Yaoi fan people! You all suck at life!"

Start playing the video game again and cuss whenever Megatron transforms back from a jet to himself because you just _barely _touched a building (Fucking video game!)

Ask why the giant plane, helicopter, thing he turns into in Animated looks like a giant dick

Put up a skin of Optimus Prime for your Myspace page

Put up a skin of Wheely for _his_ Myspace page

Buy a shirt that either shows the Autobot symbol, or one that says: "Prime 4 President!"

Tell him you're surprised because he hasn't shot you yet

When he says "Good idea" and puts the gun to your face, pull a Bugs Bunny and shove you finger in the gun, making it fire backwards at his own face

Tell him that his team consists of: A traitor who also did Spongebob's voice, An obese homosexual that's obsessed with his leader, a German "tri-polar" wackjob, and two drunken fat asses (Animated)

Then tell him that his enemies are: A yellow "thing" that won't shut the fuck up, another fat ass that thinks he's cool, a lardaceous doctor that thinks he's important, a racecar that talks too fast to understand, the crimson chin, a fire truck that shoots white, sticky stuff (Not kidding), and an eight year old robot girl (Animated again)

Then start yelling about everyone's HUGE CHINS!! (Take a guess)

Also remind him that he hired Captain Hook (aka- Space Bandito man) to kill Prime (Animated)

Start saying: "Space Banditos? Never heard of em."

Ask what his goal was in G1, cuz he never really made it clear, other than killing Autobots…and Wheely

Show him a photo album that says "Sweet Memories" on it, and it shows pictures of every series when Megatron died

Tell him that you're running out of ideas to make him angry

Laugh when he says: "You're _trying _to make me angry??"

Tell him that, this whole time, you've been recording every way you've pissed him off, and posting it as a story on . At this point he won't be able to take it anymore, and realize that he should've kicked you out of the Decepticons 199 numbers ago. He was right to never trust a human and leaves you to die in a desert.

But, then you hear something coming towards you after Megatron leaves. You wait for whatever it is to come closer and realize that it's a big, red semi-truck.

GojiPrime: Okay, I don't think this one was as funny, and it still wasn't very good. I pretty much used my knowledge of the Transformers series to piss him off, and this shows I don't know much about Transformers. Like last time, PLEASE REVIEW, I need to know what's good, and what I need help on. I also want to know if I should make another one of these or not, and who I should piss off (Just make it an Autobot, like Grimlock or Bumblebee, not Prime, I'll do him later). Any kind of review would be much appreciated, but if you're just going to complain that I have bad grammar or I suck at life, then shut the fuck up and try making a better list!


	3. 100 Ways to piss off Bumblebee

-I held this one off for a while cuz I didn't think it was good enough, but I'll let the readers decide-

GojiPrime: Okay, WTF, my crappy computer sucks! Writing these things is gonna be harder now cuz some of the buttons don't work anymore!! I HATE THIS GODDAMN COMPUTER!! Seriously, it's, like, old, and big and boxy and…I don't know what the fuck is going on with this thing anymore. I don't even get internet on here! I have to put all my shitty writing on a flash drive and transfer it to the computer in my parents' room, which sucks, cuz they always try to read whatever I type. (Wow, "in my parents' room" makes me feel lame…)

All whiny bitching aside, I will now do a Bumblebee list. Yautja117, shut the hell up, cuz I said I wasn't gonna put my Soundwave list up yet. That clearly tells me that you don't pay attention to whatever I say…I'm being a hypocrite right now.

(Slams head against desk) I'm getting really sidetracked right now; somebody hit me with a boot.

So, Megatron left me to die in a desert. Little does he know, that Optimus soon found me and took me to the Autobot base. He noticed that I pissed Megatron off, and thought I was a good "Autobot follower, and a very popular Christian human on the World-a Wide-a Web-a" (I don't expect any of you to get that. That's how me and my friends make fun of the way he says "World Wide Web" in the new movie).

Little does _he _know, I'm not for either the Decepticons or Autobots, and all I wanna do is piss them off until they step on me. I shouldn't piss off Prime yet; cuz then I'd be kicked out before I piss off anyone else.

I should piss off a complete dicktard that nobody likes…Bumblebee!

WARNING -It was brought to my attention that some of my readers may be girls/women/female/chicks/firebreathingmonsters, or whatever you wanna call yourselves, so unless you're willing to be a lesbian, don't do all of these, or at least don't complain, cuz I'm not changing it-

-Like most men of this world, I don't understand the female species, but I know you don't wanna piss them off. So please, don't shove your arm through the computer screen and punch me if you are insulted by any of the sexual jokes-

100 Ways to Piss Off the Spanish Gimp, formally known as Bumblebee

Compare him (In the new movie) to a Grunt (Halo)

Remind him that he only had one line in the new movie

And that line is "I wish to stay with the boy"

Say: "Wait a minute…with the boy? Nobody else? Just the boy?"

Call him gay

Then call him a pedophile

Ask how it felt to have Sam and his girlfriend have sex on top of him at the end of the new movie

Call him "Chin-tastic" (Animated)

Show him the fan art of him and the following men: Optimus, Prowl, Bulkhead, Wheely, Blur, Sari (Animated)

Ask how a mommy and daddy Transformer mate with each other

Laugh, cry, and run out of the room when he tells you

Call up Megatron and leave a message saying: "I've figured it out! Tumbletree told me that the female takes the male's floppy disk, and makes it a hard drive. After that, she inserts it in her mass-storage device."

Sigh and say: "it's a beautiful thing, really"

Tell Prime what Bumblebee just told you

Video tape him getting his ass kicked and put it on YouTube

Laugh when he cries

Show him the video on YouTube and say: "Awesome! I already got 1397846 hits!" (Yes, I _did_ randomly smash the number buttons to come up with that)

Laugh as he cries more

Call him "Goldbug" (G1)

Ask why Goldbug never came back after the "Kiss-Players"

Exaggerate "Kiss-Players"

Ask if the girl he fell in love with is living in the Autobot base

When he says yes, but she broke up with him, walk away laughing

Bring the girl (Who's name I do not know) over for dinner

As Bumblebee sits dazed and confused, you and the girl start calling each other "cute nicknames" (Like, what do married people call each other? Honey, Sweetie, Dimpleduff, Slut, Bastard, Morgan Freeman)

When he walks up to you saying "dude, I thought we were friends", ignore him and proceed to undress your (his) girlfriend

Tell him he was cooler when he spoke via the radio (New Movie)

But he still wouldn't shut the fuck up (Also New Movie)

Tell him that he's just one of those main characters that nobody really likes, and he just stands around getting shot at (Like Carmine from Gears Of War, or Caboose from Red vs. Blue)

Call him "Cannon Fodder" (Oh, wait, that's Jazz)

Ask if he enjoyed it when Sam was inside him (New Movie)

Ask if he enjoyed it when Sam was inside him, after Frenzy ripped his pants off (New Movie)

Ask what the fuck that floating disk-thing was that he used to turn into (G1)

Start laughing whenever he insults people in the new cartoon, but not because it's funny, but because he sucks at it

Yell: "You just called Blitzwing a refrigerator?", shake your head and walk away

Have his ex-girlfriend in your arms and say: "Don't worry, you still got that brown-girl from Animated"

Then remind him that Sari has a really HUGE "floppy disk"

Run away

Laugh when you hear him yell: "Holy shit! Sari _does_ have a penis!"

Run up to him and tell him that his ex-girlfriend says you have a bigger floppy disk then him

And that's if you fold it in half (Yeah, I took that from the Megatron list #1, I just thought it was funny)

Then say: "And then I showed her my fishing pole!"

Laugh and walk away when he asks: "Then what's a floppy disk…?" (I don't even know)

Tell him that he's Ironhide's bitch

Tell him that he's Wheely's bitch

Ask how his legs were repaired so fast (New Movie)

Buy him a Cliffjumper toy

Buy your girlfriend the newest Bumblebee toy

Tell him that he may have been the main transformer in the new movie, but all anyone cared about was Prime

Say "Robots in disguise? You were driving around in broad daylight without a driver, and you were driving on your side, turning into a different car in the middle of fuckin traffic!!" (New Movie)

Watch the new movie, and during the part when he slams his door into the car-selling dude, yell: "RAPE, RAPE UP THE TAILPIPE!!"

Introduce him to , and show him the Yaoi stories, starring him and every other Transformer

Point out that there aren't any with him and female Transformers (I sure hope that's not true, if so, then you people are sick!)

Call him a gimp

Ask why he just so happened to find and transform into the coolest car in the new movie, and it just so happened to be yellow and black, and his name is Bumblebee

Tell him not to answer and shut the hell up

Remind him of all the good times in the G1 days, when he was used as a distraction so the important Autobots could escape

And now he's just a Yaoi gimp (New Movie, Animated, and Fanfics)

Blame him for GojiPrime's broken keyboard (I HATE THIS THING!!)

Ask what the devil horns on his head are for (Animated, and I think they're also in G1)

Ask if he worships Satan

If he says no, call him a liar

If he says yes, hold up a cross and say: "The power of Primus compels you!!"

Ask why his new toy, for the new movie, comes with a sword that you've never seen before

Tell him the sword is more fun to play with than him (I'm serious, that thing's awesome!)

Throw a dog collar, a leash, shorty shorts, and a whip at him and tell him to put it on

When he asks why, say: "you're gonna make me some money, now do your job bitch!"

Smack him across the face

When he tries to spend his money, steal it and say: "This isn't enough for GojiPrime's new keyboard". Hold your hand out and glare at him until he understands what you mean

Laugh as he puts the collar back on and walks away.

Yell "Holy Shit! I skipped #69 without doing a sixty-nine to my girlfriend!"

When he laughs and calls you forgetful, throw a flaming battle axe at him and say: "Bitch, where's my money?"

If he accuses _you _of being gay, shake your head and douse your (his) girlfriend with a hose

Remind him that he thought a random, blue, talking telephone pole was normal in, like, the first episode of G1 (That info came from my friend, I'm not sure if it's true, but, whatever…)

Call him straight

Ask why he's called Bumblebee in the first place

Before he tells you his life story of embarrassment and torture, say: "Does your dick come out of your ass?" (That must be like a stinger…HOLY SHIT!! This explains everything!)

When he gives up and asks: "How can I just become good friend for you, or vise versa?" say: "Try smoking cigars with your mother, or vise versa."

Tell him that Sam thought he was a Fifty-year old virgin (New Movie)

Buy him the toy Bumblebee that has no legs

Tell your girlfriend to kiss him

If a "fishing pole" comes out of his ass, yell: "OMG, I knew it!!"

If no "fishing pole" appears, then _you _kiss him (assuming you're a dude)

If a "fishing pole" comes out of him anywhere, yell: "OMG, I knew it!!"

Look at the box cover of the new movie and say: "What the…Are you checking me out, or…What exactly are you doing?"

Tell him to transform into a car and screw with his radio

Set him to SPANISH

When he throws you out and complains, say: "Sorry, I don't speak French"

When he won't shut up, grab a German dictionary and say: "I believe you just asked me to have sex with my girlfriend on top of you?"

Have sex with your girlfriend on top of him

When he cries and screams for mercy, your girlfriend will ask you what he said. Tell her: "He wants you to pop open his hood and take a shit in there…"

Have your girlfriend shit inside Bumblebee

Start calling him: "El Bumble-avo es-bee-asstard…the third"

Laugh at his failed attempts to shoot you

Tell him that you're bored of his girlfriend and dump her right in front of him

Start dating Optimus Prime's Kiss-Players girlfriend

When Bumblebee asks why you're spying on her while she bathes, say: "What would Optimus Prime do?"

(Wait a minute…I know I'm not supposed to be making author's notes in the middle of these things, but I just gotta say: I've been mentioning all those chicks from the "Kiss-Players", and I _now _know what they look like… HOLY SHIT!! THAT CHICK IS FUCKING HIDEOUS!!) Laugh and say Optimus Prime's girlfriend has bigger boobs

Just tell him that he sucks

When he says: "Why don't you make fun of someone that people like less…like Jazz?", say: "Well, I actually thought that the black Transformer that was ripped in half was higher ranked than you, but now I understand where you're coming from…racist" and finally walk off.

GojiPrime: Yeah, this one was really stupid, and probably MORE irrelevant than my first Megatron list, so sorry if I disappointed anybody. I just wasn't very good with Bumblebee cuz he's probably the character I least paid attention to…well, after Blur and Wheely, of coarse.

Anyway, just R&R, and give me some suggestions for the next list. I promise I'll make it more relevant and better than this one.


	4. KissPlayers

GojiPrime: Let me thank the people that actually reviewed my story. I think the only one that reviewed for each chapter so far is Moonblaster lady (But Bumblebee is not "adorable"…that's not in my dictionary. He _was_ cool, until he got his voice back…now he's just a pedophile).

Yautja117 doesn't count cuz he sucks, and haunts me with his mentioning of Chet (A.K.A. My ex-girlfriend that had mandibles and tentacles, and generally looked like a Halo 3 Brute...why, oh why did I ever date her?) (Shut up Yautja, cuz you actually liked her) (You're just using my shame as a cover up, cuz you want to "bring her around the world") (I know where you live too, and I don't need a gun as long as my sister can turn people to stone with her face)

NOTE: I'M SORRY IF I'M PISSING YOU OFF. I'M SORRY ABOUT THE DELAYS ON MY LISTS AND THAT THIS IS NOT THE SAME KIND OF LIST. Please, don't lose hope for my next list, it's almost done. It's 2:06 am, I haven't gotten sleep in two days, and I wish someone would clobber me with a brick right now.

This will not be a "Piss-Off" list. You can call it a "Rant" list. I can't wait any longer to do this, and I was just going to hold it off until I'm done making lists anyway. Main point being:  
KISS-PLAYERS SUCKS!

Of coarse, you already know that, right? But, seriously, I mean: KISS PLAYERS SUCKS

Oh, and for your information: I know that I'm practically writing everything I'm NOT supposed to on this website, but who really gives a damn? (Lists, reviews, etc.)

**Thank you Master Chief for being there for me as I royally pawn online players. So this is dedicated to you…Marcus Fenix.**

So anyway, let me give you the overall plot of the "Kiss-Players":

Galvatron, after being mortally raped by Rodimus Prime, lands on Earth in a steamy pile of dead. His corpse conveniently lands on Tokyo, where a certain –Transformer hating- group called the "Earth Defense Command" (or "EDC") (Yeah, real original) conveniently lives. The EDC uses Galvatron's remains to build robots of their own, so they can kill all of the Autobots.

Wait a minute…The Autobots just risked everything, including their lives and only _good_ leader to save Earth, and now Earth wants to kill the Autobots…using Galvatron's limbs. What the fuck?

Anyway, a woman named Hitoshizuku Amao (Yeah, that's what I want my daughter's name to be), who's daughter was killed (When Galvatron landed on her) (I'm serious) (That's fuckin hilarious…a little girl walking down a road, smiling and skipping home…all of a sudden, a giant robot falls on her.) tragically, leads the EDC, thus making the first human to make something of her life in Transformers.

The robots built from Galvatron's crotch plate were called "Autroopers" (Again, real fuckin original). The fearsome "Autroopers" were so fearsome, that their almighty fearsomeness forced the real Transformers to run away, fearsomely. Yeah, that's right; the transformers were driven off Earth by some cheap knock-off bootleg that nobody liked. The "Autroopers" are kinda like the red-haired step child named Carl, that's always somewhere in your family (You just wanna punch 'em).

After that, the Humans made a giant "anti-electron" barrier around Earth. A barrier that you never hear of again, and doesn't stop the Transformers from coming to Earth.

Being scared shitless, Rodimus gives the Matrix to Ultra Magnus and became HotRod once again.

Wait a minute. This is the SEQUEL to G1, so why does HotRod still have the Matrix (and wasn't the Matrix destroyed?)?

Anyway, one year later, the Humans start noticing that Galvatron's impact caused his Unicron-cells to shatter around the atmosphere, and fuse with animals and cars, making the new race known as (Canadians) the Legion. (NOTE- I do not mean to insult any races with racist comments, please forgive me as I ram my head into the wall).

Okay, for this next part, I didn't even understand, so I'll quote Wickipedia (Although nobody gives a dead moose's last shit): "However, when Galvatron's cells came into contact with human beings, they also became able to fuse with other entities containing his cells by kissing them. With their Autroopers being perfect candidates for this "ParasiTech" (Talk about originality in this story. These are GREAT names for things.) fusion process, the EDC began recruiting and training these "Kiss Players" as combat squads to battle the Legion."

When a girl named Atari Hitotonari is attacked by a Legion, Shaoshao Li (How do you say that?) jumps into action...until, for no particular reason, she's knocked unconscious. (Way to go, Shaoshao) So, with the girl unconscious, Atari decides to be a slut and kiss Shaoshao's Autrooper (behind Shaoshao's back) (Talk about conflict), and generically defeats the Legion (How slow was that Legion moving?).

Atari is then dragged into the EDC. There, she was sexually harassed by some fagot named Ringo (The red nosed dicktard) Chikuma, and made friends with some bitch named Kayu Michikusa (El Asswipe).

She also had problems like getting carsick, swallowing Legions, and getting internally "fixed" by her Autrooper. But, who could forget that wonderful day when she was possessed by Starscream's ghost. What kind of Cluster fuck was the guy who wrote this stuck in? Starscream has a ghost? WHAT? Anyway, Starscream's an idiot, and that plan is soon generically stopped. Doesn't explain how they got the ghost out of the girl…

Now, we get to the MAIN CHARACTER of the story. Marissa Faireborn, a childhood friend of Shaoshao Li, who was apparently never mentioned or seen after she passed out for no reason. Marissa was fooled by Mr. Ringo (HaHa, what a dick), believing that Optimus Prime's body was being transported to Japan from America, only to find out that it was an ambush, and Ringo killed Marissa's team (Of what? Doesn't say). But, of course, Marissa got out unharmed. One week later, Marissa finds the real Prime's dead corpse in a trailer.

After an out-of-control Autrooper tries to have sex with Prime's body, Marissa just so happens to learn that she too is a "Kiss Player", and kisses Prime. Prime gets a new body, and he is, for an unknown reason, no longer dead (Making his sacrifice from the G1 movie look ridiculously pointless).

Prime, as a thanks, brings Marissa to beaches every night, so she can surf. But, one night, they are attacked by a Legion that has fused with an Octopus (Oh my!). They then killed it. (Literally lol, that's the whole fight)

For unexplained reasons, they then save the life of Atari (The company?), and team up with her. Shaoshao later becomes emo, after finally waking up after Atari was attacked, and runs away from the EDC. She is saved from working for some unnamed place that wants her to dismember Legion corpses, and who's she saved by? Hot Rod. (GO AWAY! WE DON'T LOVE YOU!)

Shaoshao then kisses Hot Rod (Eww) to save him from an attack of Legions (WHAT? YOU SAVED HIM? YOU BITCH! YOU COULD'VE ENDED WARS BY LETTING HIM DIE! ALL WE WANT IS FOR HIM TO BE DEAD!!). Then she runs away from the EDC, afraid of being killed with Hot Rod (I thought she already ran away).

Shaoshao and Hot Rod had a bad relationship (Problems in bed?), and Shaoshao vowed to use Hot Rod's power to kill Prime for taking her best friend (Marissa) away from her.

YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAH! KILLING YOUR BEST FRIEND'S BOYFRIEND WILL REALLY MEAN YOU'RE HER "BFF".

So, Optimus and Marissa take control of some Legions and attack the EDC headquarters (Why is Optimus killing humans?). There, they run into both Atari (and generic Autrooper) and Shaoshao (Her name's a pain in the ass to type). This fearsome threesome battle in a great battle that creates one of the greatest battles that battles have ever battled (A naked Congo-line?). Hot Rod was actually smart, and decides that the Optimus Prime in front of him was an imposter…which is still dumb ass.

Again, being unexplained, the three team up, and decide to screw all of their goals…for a fishing trip. Their, Marissa lost her (virginity) underwear (YEAH!), and Shaoshao begins reminiscing about their childhood (As Marissa lay naked, and Atari has her thumb up her ass).

Oh, wait, Atari was at the EDC still, being harassed by…you guessed it: RINGO! And the bitch complains that the unheard of (since episode 2 ¾) Kayu doesn't help. Later, she finds out that Ringo had also been anally raping Kayu as well, and they make (out) up, and are happy friends again. But wait, Kayu had been transferred to another section of EDC (the EDC has sections??), and they weren't friends after all.

Kayu's Autrooper then goes berserk, and despite Atari's sexual bribes for him not to, Ringo shoots/kills Kayu's Autrooper. After that, Atari cuts herself, and _her _Autrooper kills Ringo (HOORAH!).

Marissa and Prime attack the EDC once again, and despite becoming friends, fight Shaoshao and HotRod. Then, they settle their differences (HotRod, you suck) and team up with Atari (Didn't that already happen?) to destroy the EDC.

Turns out, Amao (From episode 1) had been trying to resurrect her daughter, and decided it would be a good idea to use Atari's body for the experiment. The plan was destroyed after (the naked Congo-line saved the day) Galvatron's cells dramatically fused together again, and Optimus died again, and HotRod…was just HotRod. Galvatron comes back to life, the end.

UNTIL…the group of girls go back in time (unexplained) and witness the (stock-footage) battle of Optimus Prime vs. Megatron. Because they were from the future, Prime and Megatron could not see or feel the girls, but Marissa manages to screw up time and space (and the plot) and kiss Prime, giving him a super power up Mario Mushroom! Then, as Optimus charged up his Falcon Punch super move, nothing different happened and he died.

The new mission for the girls was now to seek the pieces of the Allspark (what happened to the Matrix?). So, they did. Thus, ending their _great _story (anticlimactically).

The short summary of Kiss-Players: Watching three horses butt-fuck

As GojiPrime laughs, cries, and pukes from typing this, he decided to not only tell the tale, but to pick out the flaws. You wanna know what was wrong with this story? Well:

It was made by Japan (Who fucked up Transformers royally)

Why was it so anticlimactic?

The main character looks like Darth Vader giving birth

In the end, there was no point or accomplishments

Even Michael Bay hates it (or at least he better)

When did that take place?

Why did Hot Rod give the Matrix to Ultra Magnus (Who's supposed to be dead)

Why was Prime's body in a trailer?

What was this guy smoking?

Goldbug (nuff said)

If you're going to fuck everything up, then put someone cooler than Hot Rod in it!!

My computer's about to explode after I typed that!

The girls were sixteen, or so, and they were one-foot-nothing in the whole series

Optimus was perverted

This is a sad attempt at Transformers porn/hentai

WHAT THE FUCK?

What was the climax of the story?

Would your parent/guardians really appreciate this kind of story?

I can't believe I mentioned having sex with those things in my other lists

GojiPrime does not approve

None of my reviewers approve

This took 2 hours to type…it's 4:03 am...kill me!!

Goldbug wasn't gold

It was also a Japanese radio show

They sung

When did they have the time to sing songs

How many people work for the EDC? Five?

What was Marissa at the beginning? A soldier? EDC person? A hooker?

How did they…you know

Well, HotRod has a small enough penis, but still…

HotRod needs tweezers to jack off

IT WAS A WASTE OF TIME

It wasn't shown in America, and we still hated it

That guy's a dick!

Why didn't anyone care that Ringo, or whatever the fuck his name was, died?

I want to gouge my eyes out

If I heard their singing, I'd want to gnaw my ears off

HOLY ASS-CRACKERS BATMAN!

The girls had no tits

They have toys for this crap!

The toy includes one five-inch girl, and one half-inch Transformer

How'd they go back in time?

They make Hentai for this??

That Hentai made my dick pop out of my ass!

GIRLS fell in LOVE with ROBOTS!

Good news! Marissa sucks hard drive for five bucks!

This story doesn't suck dick, it sucks floppy disk

Why does Shaoshao's face scream: ass?

Who the fuck is Star Convoy?

Stick it up your ass!

GojiPrime: I'm sorry; I just had to get that off my chest. Again, sorry if this was disappointing. But don't worry; my next list should be ready in less than one day…it's just that my parents suck, and they don't let me go on the computer whenever I want. (I type on one in my room, but I don't get internet)

Let me also say that Yautja117's being a dick and won't give me back my flash drive and he won't answer his phone. You're an ass Yautja!


	5. 100 ways to piss of Blitzwing, Sort of

GojiPrime: Yautja…what do I tell you in every chapter

GojiPrime: Yautja…what do I tell you in every chapter? SHUT THE FUCK UP! YOUR COMMENTS DESTROY COUNTRIES! Or rape them and leave them to die in a ditch. Either way, stop trying to prove to yourself that you're better than me (I'm serious), you look like a jackass! Please! Nobody in the world cares what you're better than me at, there are no movie cameras, we're just another one of God's (Or some kind of Intelligent Design, if you don't believe in "God") creations that was made to live and die. I doubt ANYONE from Badger High School-Lake Geneva-Wisconsin will ever do anything important.

But seriously, World War 3.

On a related note: School blows chunks out of my ass! First week, already got a missing assignment. Son of a bitch! I've already been buried in homework, and am now being suffocated to death. Don't have time to go on the internet. Goddamn computer erased all my documents and lists. Had to spend an hour to get them back and I didn't even get all of them back. All I have now is my first Megatron list and my Kiss-Players thing. WHAT THE FUCK!?

I'm too pissed off for this shit! And Yautja making fun of me cuz my hair was dyed brown doesn't help. So if you (the reader) care at all…punch Yautja in the back of the face. (I know that doesn't make sense, but deal with it!)

And to top all that, the TV show "Code Geass" is pissing me off! I don't even know if anyone else on Earth watches that besides me, but I like it. Problem is...it always ends with a fucking cliff-hanger! Now I can't stop thinking what the fuck's gonna happen next! And it's all Anime's fault.

Also, some pink-haired chick's boobs are always shown, but the goddamn Americanization always censors it. Fuck you Americanization! You fuck every good anime/manga up by censoring nudity and getting horrible voices for people. Why, oh why, do I watch anime?

All bitching aside, let's get on with this goddamn list. Let me just say that the only reason I put a semi-story thing in this is so I don't randomly put up lists, there's actually a reason/ somewhat of an order.

Anyway, because Yautja won't leave me alone, I have to do it like this: a flashback.

Yautja won't shut up, so he told me to make something like I was remembering making fun of a Decepticon. So, it's a flashback.

I really wish I could just say: "Fuck the story and do random lists", cuz looking back, I feel like a dumbass. So I'll leave it to you (The reader) to tell me if I should fuck the story thing, cuz it only makes it harder on me. So PLEASE REVIEW! SAVE ME FROM TORTURE OF COMING UP WITH REASONS TO PISS OFF TRANSFORMERS! I BEG YOU! (Sniff) "I'm so lonely".

HOLY SHIT! THAT WAS THE LONGEST AUTHOR'S NOTE EVER!! I SHOULD JUST WRIGHT A FUCKING RANT BOOK AND SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY!

100 Ways to Piss Off Blitzwing!

Yeah! That's right! The bastard with three heads!

Every time he walks by, do the Nazi salute and scream: "Hail Megatron!"

Call him "tripolar" (Three personalities…I'm always gonna be talking about the Animated Blitzwing)

Mention that GojiPrime's computer has never been this fucked up on a list before his. (I'm serious)

Draw a little-kid-like picture of him and Lugnutz holding hands

Ask why there's a German tripolar bastard and an obese dicktard working together

Call him a refrigerator

In addition to #1, laugh like he does (Uh-wee-hee-hee-he)

Ask what he did with Ratchet's severed arm when he froze it and broke it off (I don't know what episode that was…)

Tell him that GojiPrime apparently has a reader that seems to be in love with Blitzwing. (It's one of my friends, so don't worry, she'll only clobber me with a brick)

When he asks what her phone number is, say: "It's not a girl" (It really is a girl…but its just for the sake of the joke)

Later that day, when she comes over and hits you for calling her a dude, say: "but you didn't read the next part! He then told me that he prefers 'big strong men'".

When she leaves and Blitzwing begins to cry, announce that you just stopped a romance story, with lots of lemons, and violence, and ironic twists, and a "happily ever after" ending.

And you just crushed her only chance to have a dream come true

Tell him that he's not going to be in any Transformers movies

Then, get your video camera and say: "We'll audition right now and send the video to Michael Bay!"

Tell him: "When you want me to cut, just make a scissors gesture with you hand"

The thirteenth time he does it and you still didn't cut, say: "I already told you, we're not going to "scissor" each other to impress Michael Bay! Now get your bikini on and start running in slow motion"

When he tells you to stop being so mean, say: "Shut up bitch, and make me money!"

When he asks why you're acting like this, quote the picture I mentioned a while ago (The one with Megatron doing the Fonz) (Not like that) (Yaoi retards) and say: "I dunno, lol"

Have an argument with yourself and scream: "GO AND CRUSH ZEM!" then smile and yell: "No! Go and dance, and zrow zings around!"

Call him German (I'm only saying that because I just thought of something. Is Blitzwing really German? I only say he is, but that's cuz Yautja117 told me he was. Am I retarded, or is Yautja an idiot?)

Ask what he would've done if he'd stay with Starscream

Tell him that Starscream also does the voice of Spongebob Squarepants

Then tell him that Starscream is gay

Tell him that his current leader is also gay

When he asks how, show him GojiPrime's first two Megatron lists on

_Then_ tell him that Megatron also has a raging crush on Gilbert Gottfried

And Bob Saget

Then say: "Wait a minute, he has a huge crush on a bunch of dudes: Michael Bay, Sam Witwicky, Prime, Sari's dad, and GLaDOS

Tell him that there is, in fact, no cake when you die

Call him an idiot for transforming into a tank when he was in the air

And he fell for Bumblebee's trick

And Bumblebee's the biggest dick in that show

And all Bumblebee had to say was: "You look like a refrigerator"

Remind him that a jackass like Blur trapped him in stasis cups

Set him up on a blind date with Black Arachnea

Then, during their date, play the song "Itsy Bitsy Spider"

Then play any song by Rammstein (I don't know if I spelt it right, but those guys are fuckin awesome)

When the two start arguing with each other, say: "You two are embarrassing me. It took time and money to get good seats at Burger King! Now, if you two don't stop, then you don't get your Animated toys that come with the meal."

Look over and see a mother yelling at her child, saying: "I've had just about enough with you today." Look back over to Blitzwing and say: "Now, you see this fist? You know what I'm gonna do to your face with this fist?"

Laugh at his three different personalities when he watches the YouTube video "Stick Figures on Crack"

In addition to #s 1 and 7, play "Daft Punk- Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger"

Tell him his "visage" makes you sick

All three of them

Well, he's a lot cooler now, but in the time of G1, he was just another boring, unimportant, generic, box that talked

Where the fuck did the Animated writers get the idea for three personalities?

Tell him: "I don't like you, not one bit. Now let me (Switch to crazy face) express my feelings in song!" (You sing whatever you feel necessary)

If you start singing songs like: "Every time we touch" "The Touch" "Barbie Girl" "You Really Got Me Now" or anything that sends the message "Come to daddy and/or mommy, Blitzwing, and give me some sugar", then not only will you piss off Blitzwing, but you will piss me (GojiPrime) off, and get hit with a boot.

Set up a second blind date, with the chick that's obsessed with him now (If she doesn't clobber you for earlier)

(If she did, prepare to be clobbered again) Tell Blitzwing the wrong time to be at wherever he's going

Tell him the girl loves to be bossed around

And treated like a skank

And she gets turned on if you whip her and ask how much ten bucks would get you

Video tape the date, and laugh out loud when the girl screams: "I thought you were cool!" and walks away

Make sure he sees you with the camera, and you're literally "roflmao" (Internet talk-yeah, I'm cool!) (Sarcasm on that last part) (lol) (rofl) (lmao) (wtf)

Simply step out of the way when he tries to step on…

Oh…shit…he really got you…

Well…this sure is awkward

What the fuck?

When you finally come to, and he's apologizing like crazy, give him the cold shoulder for about three weeks

When he buys you a Transformers toy and asks for forgiveness, shoot a spit ball at him

When he wipes the spit ball off his cheek, he looks up, eyes widened, and slowly says: "Oh…my…god"

That's when Lugnutz falls on him

Unwrap his present, then start complaining that you already have the Megatron Masterpiece toy, and throw it at him

Tell him not to speak to you for another week (I'd feel so bad for doing that) (I don't even know why, but just imagining that makes me feel like an ass) (And what a good feeling it is)

Ask why "It only took you and Lugnutz, like, fifteen episodes to even start looking for Megatron on Earth"

Give him a random, but extremely difficult, math question. Make sure it'll take him long enough to almost finish it…then his crazy face pops up and screams something retarded like: "Zis Zing is retarded! I want to dance! And zrow zings around! Uh-wee-hee-hee-he!" And he tears up the paper

When he realizes what he's done wrong, laugh and "zrow zings" at him, then tell him to do it over

Show him the wonderful (Barf) Yaoi (Gag) fan-fiction with him and Lugnutz (Puke) doing a sixty-nine (Shits a brick) (Gnaws off ears, gouges out eyes, lights hands on fire, suffocates himself)

**The makers of "100 ways to Piss Off Transformers" would like to apologize for any horrible mental images. We would also like to inform that GojiPrime has just jumped out a window and died. We would now like to welcome your new list maker: GojiPrime's ex-girlfriend …Wait a minute…**

Chet: This is mean! I'm going to make a list that's filled with flowers, and bunnies, and other generic hippy things! Vegetarians! Yap, yap, yap! Something about animal cruelty! Gay rights!

**The makers of "100 ways to Piss Off Transformers" would like to apologize for any deaths from that comment. We would also like to inform that Chet has just been clubbed with a meter stick and thrown into a river Its skin dissolves from water. Now, please welcome the GojiPrime that has been reincarnated.**

(Has anyone realized that I'm too young to be writing this M-rated piece of shit?) When he tells you to never show him that story again, laugh and say: "That's just _one_ story from !"

Show him the lists upon lists of Yaoi, staring him and his team-mates. (Ratchet rebuilt me as 49 robot, so I can type it without dying. I still can't look at it though, because I would die a horribly painful death) (So that means I have to keep the "SafeSearch" on at all times. Shit! I can't look at porn!)

Let me just interrupt one more time. If I'm too young to be writing this, then I'm too young to look at porn…please don't tell my parents. (Freaking out) C'mon, everyone does it…right? I'm getting easily distracted in this list, aren't I? Doesn't anyone even care? (Crying) I'm just gonna get hit by a bus now. Somebody punch me, so I can stay focused! I just don't feel very into this list.

72)When you wake up, scream at the top of your lungs, cuz Blitzwing is really reading his own Yaoi! HOLY SHIT! RUN AWAY

Laugh, scream, and cry when he says: "Itz actually very good. Itz me with Megatron and…" (I plugged my ears after that, so feel free to listen if you're _that _interested.)

Compare him to Chachamaru (It's a chick from Negima) (One of my friends never remembers her name and just calls her Blitzwing or Optimus-lady)

Tell him exactly what I'm about to tell you! This is serious. You know those stupid blog things that say "Type your name and find out your theme song"? I typed in Blitzwing, and it gave me "Long Road to Ruin" by the Foo Fighters

Another one was "Type your name and find out what Transformer you're most like. I type in fucking Blitzwing, and it gives me G1 Wheely. WHAT THE FUCK? What the hell were those guys smoking?

The next day, I did the song one again. Typed in "Blitzwing", but now it gave me "Welcome to the Jungle". WHAT?!

Typed _my _name in the Transformers one, and I kid you fuckin not, I got Blitzwing! WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU IN THE ASS!

Typed Megatron in the song one, got "The Touch". I was laughing my ass off!

Ask if he and Lugnutz are lovers

Seriously, the only time I've seen them apart was in the episode with Wreck-Gar

Then ask if he was crying, cuz he missed his obese gay lover

Then ask how Transformers are gay

Or straight, for that matter

And if Transformers sex was so complicated, then how do they have gay…

Oh…My…God…

Run away before he explains

Tell him he and Black Arachnea would make the "cutest" couple

Tell him that you finally got a lawyer, and you're finally suing him for your broken limbs

When he tells you he can't get a lawyer, tell him that you'll just have to pick one for him

The court date finally comes up, and his lawyer is…Blur?

Your lawyer is your super hot girlfriend (I'm not changing it for girls! It's still gonna be a chick)

You automatically win, because your girlfriend has lens-less glasses to make her look smarter, and a suitcase…that's just a suitcase. Meanwhile, Blitzwing has some douche bag that won't shut the fuck up. The judge (Unicron) eats Blur, and everyone celebrates.

Blitzwing pulls you out of the room and has a private conversation with you. He zen tellz you zat he haz no money.

Sigh and hold out your hand, saying: "Well, Blitz, I told you what the consequences would be. I guess I'll be nice, and only take a limb until you get the money.

When he finally gives you his left leg, change your attitude and say: "You got twenty-four hours!"

Walk away

In twenty-four hours, he still hasn't given you the 500,000 you need for medical bills. As he sits and watches TV, stand in front of it with a metal pipe in your hand.

When he asks, "What are you going to do?", beat him for ten minutes, yelling: "I have a girlfriend to take care of! We aren't being paid by the government! I have a broken arm and can't work! How do I live under these conditions? Where's my money? Huh? Where's my money?" Spit on his face and yell "You got until 12-o-clock!"

After he finally pays you, and sits on the couch wrapped in bandages while drinking oil through a straw, sit next to him and smile. Act friendly and grab the remote, saying: "Hey, Blitzy, what's up? How've you been, buddy? You wanna watch the Teletubbies? Hmm? Yeah, Teletubbies are there for you, and they'll make you laugh. Laughter is the greatest way to heal. Does that make you happy? Hmm?" That's when he finally switches to his angry face and says: "Fuck you!"

GojiPrime: If you just read ALL of that, then ask me for 50, cuz you deserve it. I can't believe you actually lived through all of that. I'm serious, ask for 50! Of course, you probably won't get it.

Like I always say: Sorry if I disappointed you. I was fairly disappointed in myself with this list. I guess I'll leave that for you to decide though. It's only cuz nobody really knows that much about Blitzwing…anyone I know at least. Don't blame me though, blame yourself. I always say that I'm open for suggestions…or do I? Have I ever asked that before? Whatever, just review.

And I want to get a lot of reviews this time! Seriously! I wanna beat Yautja, cuz he's an ass, and all he wants to do is be better than me. I need at least 25 reviews! PLEASE!! I WILL DO ANYTHING, as long as it's not gay. Seriously! I probably get at least 100 viewers on the first day I post a new chapter, so why aren't those people reviewing? C'mon! Type anything! Tell me that you have a dog! I don't care! I just want to know if you liked the story! If anyone cares about me, these stories, or in general, then review! PLEASE!


	6. Why I Hate Hot Rod!

GojiPrime: Okay, I'm stealing Yautja 117's computer to do this. I was just watching a video from the G1 movie, and now I want to beat Hot Rod with a spork! WTF? He's nothing but a fucking dicktard!

Whatever, so here goes my rant on Hot Rod…

Let me first inform: I know nothing about Hot Rod! I don't even think he's worth researching to do this. So, sorry it's not a list, but I just have to be one of those people that thinks Hot Rod was completely worthless, and convince people that he was a waste of trees! Seriously, if anyone actually likes Hot Rod… you're wrong.

--

Where to start? Well, first of all, why the hell was he a main character in the G1 movie, and later in the series? Before that, he was just a fucking background character used to make Prime look manlier.

Wait a minute…Yautja just informed me that Hot Rod wasn't even in existence before the movie. Why couldn't it stay that way?

Not to mention, he's a fucking pedophile! Hanging out with little boys, and his fucking name is **Hot Rod**!! Then, he turns into **Rodimus**?!

"Hey, Daniel, wanna take a ride inside my **Rodimus**?"

Fuck no! What were those people thinking? Or smoking? Or sleeping with? Morgan Freeman?

Anyway, maybe I should tell everyone here what exactly he "did" to piss me off (As if nobody already knows). First of all, he thinks he's cool. Thus causing, not only the destruction of Prime, but the destruction of Transformers in general!

"Oh, look, Optimus is winning the fight that can end many a death and destruction of worlds! I gots myself a 'fabulous' idea! I'll go jump in the way! Then, Prime will finally notice me, and I'll be one step closer to getting his wonderful metallic penis, up my tail-pipe! I can't wait for the skid-marks!"

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!

That really fuckin worked out! Didn't it Hot Rod? Well, look at what you did! You got in the way, making Prime stop the gunfire (and he only needed one more shot), and now you're a hostage for Megatron!

Oh, would you look at that? Megatron just shot the hell out of Prime, and now Hot Rod was chucked off the set, followed by Prime thwacking Megatron in the chest, and causing him to fall down a fucking cliff! Way to go! Idiot…

Now Megatron has been thrown out an airlock, thanks to Starscream, who kicked him. And now the evil lord is vanquished. Downside…Optimus is dead.

"Here Ultra Magnus, take the Matrix."

"Anything for you, old friend."

Then, Hot Rod ruins the moment and cuts into the dramatically depressing conversation. "Gimme that!" he yelled, shooting Magnus in the face and ripping the Matrix out of his hand.

"Hot Rod" Prime groans, barely able to speak (or breathe).

"My, Prime, you look a little green in the grills" Hot Rod commented, ignoring the fact he just crushed his leader's dreams and chances of survival (By snorting all of the anti-dying suppositories).

"I have a confession. You are not a Transformer, you are an adopted Go-Bot" Prime said, using his last breath and dying. Yeah, that's it. He died. Just leave it to Hot Rod to make any scene anticlimactic.

Okay, so that was only the first wrong thing he did! I can't believe one person fucked up an entire series in the first half hour of the movie. Hot Rod is such a dick!

The second worse thing he did…he was in Kiss-Players! I already explained Kiss-Players, but who gives a damn? He teams up with the chick that's trying to kill all Autobots! What a dumbass! On top of that, he tries to kill Prime! What?

"Hello Hot Rod, my good old friend whom I've always adored."

"Wait a minute; only one person could be so nice to his own murderer. Prime, is that really you?"

"Yes, and I forgive you, so give me a hug."

"IMPOSTER! GET AWAY FROM ME YOU FREAK!"

Going back to G1, I forgot to mention a few things. For example, he declared _himself _as the new Autobot leader. After Magnus dies, he picks up the Matrix and thinks: "_Well, I should probably give it to someone with far more experience and dialog than me…Ironhide? Ratchet? Kup? Wheelie? Ah, what the hell? It's shiny, and I like shiny!" _(Note- Ironhide and Ratchet are dead at this point. They are still better fighters)

After that, did you notice that he didn't do jack shit? He's in trouble, and he hides behind _a_ Wreck-Gar! He depends on Daniel to save him from Unicron's bowels. He hides behind rocks when being shot at (by his own team). He tries to steal Prime's girlfriend, but she turns him down, saying: "Sorry, I'm not into women". Feeling depressed, he goes over to Daniel _and _Spike, and asks for a bondage three-way.

They also turn him down, saying: "Sorry, we're not into Mexicans". (No offence to any Mexicans.)

_Then _he asks Wheelie, but he's not into Beast Wars.

Depressed, Hot Rod falls into an emo phase, in which he wears his mother's pants and paints his fingernails purple, while smoking cannabis and reading Prime x Megatron fan-fictions. Meanwhile, Megatron is reborn as Galvatron.

So, Hot Rod, I do believe you're fucked.

In the future, the hate-plague is created. So, the only way to defeat this great evil is to resurrect Prime after four seasons of death so he can take care of all of Hot Rod's problems. Before he resurrected Prime, Hot Rod tea-bagged his face with his "millimeter peter" (Compared to humans).

From the bowels and spiral vagina of Sasuke Uchiha, Prime's spark is bought back to existence. And if you want to see what happened after Prime woke up, watch "The Rude Awakening Of Optimus Prime" on YouTube. (Highly recommended. It starts off a little serious, but you have to watch it until the end)

"Hot Rod, give me back that fucking Matrix! You've fucked this series right up the ass!"

"But Prime, look at these ratings for me! People love me! I gots 712340578916203945790 people that love me."

"You dumb fuck! That's a negative sign in front of it!"

"Cool!"

"That's not good!!" Prime sighs and pimp-slaps Hot Rod in the face.

Then Prime single-handedly defeats the entire Decepticon race with a crappy Halo 2 pistol. After that, his heroism continues, as he single-handedly signals the dead Ironhide to kill Hot Rod. The end.

Last thing I have to say is: "Hot Rod, simply put, you need to shut your trap and butt fuck yourself until diarrhea chunks shoot out of yourdick! Oh, and your Kiss-Player's a whore too!"

--

GojiPrime: Yeah, I know this was short, but I just thought of it, like, ten minutes ago, and I was REALLY bored over at Yautja117's house. I honestly don't care if anyone reviews anymore, and I don't even think I'll keep this up very long. Whatever…

I'm so tired, I feel drunk as hell. Basically, it's that kind of feeling when you're so tired you have no idea what's going on, but after about an hour it goes away…

Anyway, I'm tired, so that's why my rant on Hot Rod was short and retarded. Don't worry, I guess I'll just get these retarded lists over with and do Prime's next time…maybe…


	7. 100 ways to piss of Optimus part one

GojiPrime: To all my loyal readers: Why do you read this

GojiPrime: To all my loyal readers: Why do you read this? Oh, and just to let you know, if I quote the movie, it'll probably be off, cuz I broke the DVD. Yeah, you don't have to tell me, I'm VERY ashamed of myself.

Anyway, sorry for the long wait. With school, I can hardly pay attention to this (As if I pay attention to school). Not to mention Yautja117 won't stop trying to kill me, and I passed Chet on the road a few days ago. I couldn't move me legs for the rest of the week, and I had to gouge my eyes out again. Don't worry though; cuz (Enter generic name here) built me some new ones. Now I have ex-ray vision, and all the girls in my school think I'm a pervert. (That was based off a question my teacher gave me, and all the girls in my English class seriously think I'm a pervert now. My question: How didn't they find out sooner?)

Let me tell you people, that ex-ray vision wouldn't let me see through their clothes. Technically, I'd only be seeing bones. Also, girls wear underwear right? Even if ex-ray vision _did _allow me to see through clothes, then I'd only see through the first layer.

Besides, all the girls in my school are ugly, goddamn it! They always got some kinda problem: They're emo, fat, obese, anorexic, a whore, ugly in general, a royal bitch, a pain in the ass, has a penis, spends all your money, or flat-chested.

100 Ways to Piss Off Optimus Prime!

"Truck, not monkey!" (Beast Wars)

During a meeting, or whatever, show Bumblebee the part of the '07 movie that Prime basically says: "Nah, I don't wanna save him; he would've wanted it this way."

Laugh when Bumblebee screams: "What the fuck? I didn't wanna die for a fucking Rubik's-cube!"

Well, I tried that theme song thing again, and guess what it gave me when I type "Optimus Prime". Yep! You (Couldn't possibly have) guessed it… "Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen. WHAT THE FUCK!?

Run up to him and say: "My love for you is like a truck" (Every series except Beast Wars)

If you're a guy, and he smiles, accuse him of being gay

If you're a chick, and he smiles, accuse him of being a pedophile

If you're neither, and he smiles, yell "NECROPHILIA", and run away while he's confused

Walk around with an Optimus Prime voice changer on your head

Start commanding the other Autobots

When he asks why they're listening to you, put the helmet on and say "How dare you question Optimus Prime? Get back to work, scum!"

Paint the silhouette of a naked woman lying down on either his shins, shoulder things, or windshield-wiper-breastplates (New movie)

Ask if Hot Rod is seduced when Optimus shoots up wiper-fluid and rubs it all over himself with the windshield-wiper-breastplates (New movie/G1)

Or vise versa

Wait a minute, did you ever notice that Hot Rod has yet to exist in the new movies. I don't think he's gonna be in number two, considering all the goddamn spoiler-forums on the internet. Anyway, Prime has flames on his arms and legs…and he has lips (New movie)

Point that (above) out to him and yell "Holy shit! '07 Prime is a fusion of G1 Prime and Hot Rod!!

Then say "It's ironic. Hot Rod and G1 Prime are both red, but '07 Prime is hated by true fans…cuz he looks completely blue!

"Freedom the right of all sentient beings...unless they're Gobots, in which case, kill the bastards!"

Show that horrible picture (that I honestly found by accident) of Sari giving him a blow job (Animated)

Then tell him "The sad thing is, Yautja117 saved that picture to his computer"

"And I believe he's been stealing all your lines and claiming them as his own"

Laugh and tell him you were joking AFTER he swats Yautja across the Pacific

Dress up in a Megatron Halloween Costume from Wal-Mart and hold up Prime's voice changer, saying "To be…or not to be…that is the question."

Crush the voice changer and say "What kinda question was that?"

Make him read the fanfic of Romeo and Juliet rewritten with Megatron as Romeo and him as Juliet (I've never seen it, but I'm sure you can find it. Oh, and if there isn't one, and it comes up a day after I post this, I'll beat you with a shovel for making such a horrible story)

Then, I'll beat myself for giving the idea

When he asks why Yautja has so much Transformers porn (It's not gay…or so he claims) (Sorry Yautja, it's just for the sake of the joke. Trust me, you'll like this one) on his computer, shrug and say "Hey, masturbation is the right of all sentient beings!"

Whenever he walks by, play the song "Bohemian Rhapsody"

Oh crap! I didn't check that "What Transformer are you" thing yet! (Tell him that and run off. But I was being serious and telling you guys the readers)

After thirty minutes of trying to find the damn thing, I was fairly disappointed in the drunken bastards who made that thing. It probably depends on which one you do, but I chose this one cuz it was SO stupid last time… anyway, I type "Optimus Prime" and it gives me…Blitzwing…

What?

Tell him that GojiPrime took the test of "Which Transformer are you?" (The actual question and answer one), and tell him that GojiPrime got 27 Decepticon, matching with Frenzy

Blame him for the Super Smash Brothers fight I just had with the thing above. I tried to type "Which Transformer are you", and it says to restate it like "Who Transformer is you?"

What? _I _got Frenzy? Well, I guess I was pretty mean with those questions, but some of them couldn't be helped. One of the questions was literally something like: "You have to fart really badly and you can't hold it while you're on an airplane, and the line to the bathroom is about 20 people long. What do you do?"

Laugh as Prime tells you "That is insulting to Autobots everywhere!"

Then tell him you answered "Let it out nice and loud, then blame on the guy next to you"

Ask why he was so badass in the '07 movie, but in the last fight, all he did was roll around in the ground

Okay, this is just something I have to point out to everyone. In the last battle, after Prime falls off that building, all he does is trip Megatron and constantly yell "Let me commit suicide Sam!" Did you notice, while Sam, the five foot tall human, is trying to defeat Megatron, the fifty foot tall robot of mass destruction, Optimus Prime does nothing but constantly struggle to stand up, but can't, and falls over about eight times. After the human does the Transformers' work, Prime gets off the ground with no problem and says "You left _me _no choice brother".

But, what you didn't know is there was a cut out line after that. Optimus goes on to say "I'm sorry _I _had to do that, Megatron. I'm so sorry _I _had to kill you with _my own hands_."

If you don't get it by now, I'm saying Optimus was taking credit for killing Megatron when he was actually doing push-ups or something on the ground. I really couldn't tell

Scream "You're a fraud!"

Beg him to say "fuck"

He'll refuse many times, so just ask faster and louder

When he finally says "fuck", gasp loudly and say "Some hero you are" in a sarcastic way

Start laughing like he does in Animated

"Wait a minute. Sam said he wants Bumblebee to stay with him, so what the fuck are you still doing here?"

When he loses control of his temper, he'll scream "I'm gonna go back there and smack you hard!" Laugh and say: "That's what she said."

Call him racist, cuz he's always red, white, and blue

Call him racist towards America, cuz he's red, blue, and gray in the '07 movie

Laugh cuz he couldn't even get to # 50 yet

Congratulate him for reaching # 50

Start playing with a Megatron Masterpiece toy

Take off the orange cap on his gun

Pretend to be shooting the gun in front of Prime, startling him as he shoots you cuz he thinks it's a real gun

Sue him

Ask him what he does with those smoke pipes on his shoulders

Use that against him in court

Have a conversation with him about Go-Bots

Randomly hold this conversation in court

Then look at the judge and scream "See? He's easily distracted! That means he's got ADD!" (No offense to people with ADD, I think I might even have it. But, then again, doesn't everyone say they have it. Maybe that's just Pell Lake, Wisconsin?)

When he asks how that's related, yell "It means you'll be defending Earth from Megatron, get distracted with something shiny, then let us all down"

Go on to say "Then, as Megatron gets revenge on GojiPrime, you realize that the shiny thing isn't shiny at all! It's just a friendly little rocket going towards Megatron to destroy him, but you got in the way after trying to give it a hug!"

What?

Throw away your Prime voice changer for a Darth Vader one.

Cuss that it was a waste of money, because they make your voice sound EXACTLY THE SAME!

Watch the '07 movie. Make random sex comments about this line: "It's just you and me Megatron" "Nooooooooooo, it's just meeeeeeeeeee, Priiiiiiiiiiiiiiime!"

"Your brother has the voice of a pedophile"

"Come to think of it…how are you two related? In this, you're brothers. In G1, you're generic hero and villain. And in fanfics, you're gay lovers? What the hell are you?"

"First, we were hero and villain, until Unicron and Primus married each other. Then, we fell in love"

Run away, screaming "OMG! OMG! HOMO INCEST! HOMO FUCKIN' INCEST!" But don't scream too loud, or a stampede of Yaoi fan girls will come running

Ask what he did with the All-Spark Doritos piece at the end on the '07

Ask where his lips came from

And what that rubber thing was that shot out of Bumblebee's crotch

And what exactly it is they "lubricate"

Tell him he doesn't need an axe, when he could use his chin! (Animated)

Quote from Black Arachnea: "I know you just wanna shoot with that foam of yours"

What the hell kind of fire truck (or whatever the hell it is) shoots foam anyway

Why not water?

Have him read GojiPrime's "100 Reasons Michael Bay is a Good Director" fanfic **Don't worry, that does not, will not, and can not exist!**

"So, you sleep with a spider lady?"

"I wonder what the kids will look like"

"Wait…spider…Charlotte's Web…Are you ready to be a single father of fifty-eight?"

"How are you gonna take it when I smack one with a GIANT fly-swatter…or a boot?"

"I'm shocked nobody's made a fanfic with you and Black Arachnea…or Arcee…or Marissa…or Sari…or a female in general."

When he finally tries to shoot you, shoot back at him using Bumblebee's severed arm

Shoot him in the head and run over to his unconscious body. Out of breath, say "Son of a bitch! Wheeze Mother fu…"

Look around in silence for a second, then pull a Halo 3, and tee-bag his face

"Just like the good old Master Chief" (Why does everyone feel the need to tea-bag in the first place?)

When he comes back on line, he will sit up and say "I was up in heaven! I saw your mom there. She wants me to tell you not to cry, because death from STDs from me was worth the sex we had."

Act surprised and say "OMFG! I hate that lady! She's such a whore!"

"Do you really hate your own mother? I feel bad now."

"ROFL! WTF did you expect from a 16 year old boy that was a Decepticon for five years?"

"What's with the internet talk? It's kinda pissing me off!"

"ROFLMAO! Isn't that what this list is about?"

"Can you leave me alone?"

"Eww! You wanna be _alone_ with Ratchet?" –Ratchet smiles and waves in background- "WTF? Whatever. Just STFU- and piss yourself."

Later, go up to him and ask "Hey, when you died, did you see any…cake?"

Ask where the fuck the back part of the truck came out of in G1 (I really wanna know!)

Call him a "Tree hugging mother fuckin' hippie!" (Yes, I wish to offend hippies!)

Tell him the major problems with his plans to save Earth in the '07 movie. He wants to save the humans, sure, but is destroying the All-Spark really your last resort? He said if he can't stop Megatron, he'll shove the cube in his chest, and he'll die. Then what? Megatron will destroy Earth, and then all that stuff from my first list will happen. Why didn't he just do something cool, like he did in the game? You know, infuse it with his hand and punch Megatron in the chest? Why the hell didn't he do that? That would've made a WAY better ending. So anyway, the All-Spark is destroyed, but Megatron still lives. He seems to be the strongest thing in the universe other than Unicron, so he'll just enslave everything anyway, with the All-Spark's help or not. Wow, Prime ain't too smart, is he? So let's all hear it for Prime! WAY TO GO! Idiot.

GojiPrime: You know, I'm VERY shocked that nobody's agreed that my lists have been getting worse and worse. Of course, nobody's disagreed either, so I don't know what the fuck's going on anymore. I'm not gonna beg for people to review, but I mean, look at it from my view. I'm confused as hell and progressively getting fewer readers. I don't know if they just don't like what I'm doing, or what? That's why I need reviews! Don't actually review; just tell me what you wanna hear! So you shouldn't be blaming me, I should be blaming you!


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